I'm not divorced, but the man I am married to had been divorced for a few years when we met. My Catholic brother told me, "my church wouldn't recognize your marriage." I was so glad I could look him in the eye and say, "well, mine does."
I know people who've had to go to great lengths upon converting to Catholicism to have previous marriages annulled (marriages that ended prior to their even becoming Catholic) so that their current marriage is not considered adulterous. My understanding is this comes from a place of wanting to protect the sacrament/sanctity of marriage. Part of me understands this, but the other part of me wonders if there is a point at which we place the needs of impersonal sacraments above ministering to and loving actual human persons as the church. Just a question that comes up for me when I ponder this.
I feel like people need to always come first - the Sabbath was made for man, and not man for the Sabbath, right? I don't have a lot of Catholic folks in my life, and I didn't mean that to sound flippant - I've actually had people who are much more learned in Catholic theology than my brother (who converted less than a decade ago) tell me that my marriage is fine, lol... I've just always found incredible comfort in Orthodoxy's ability to maintain a high calling to obedience on one hand, and a deep grace and compassion for our limits on the other. Ergo... my marriage being blessed and celebrated in my church.
Great piece. More than a few friends from seminary lost their marriages. Not all were clergy wives (or clergy), but it meant I needed to show up. When my husband remarried one friend, she had some hard questions about the differences in the services. Those softened and expanded how to minister to those rebuilding wholeness after divorce. Married people like us need to learn how to walk better alongside our divorced friends.
This is a much needed resource. Thank you for doing the work. Do you know of any similar supports for men? Our parish is not very large and also does not have many divorced men or women in it, but there are a few and I'll send this on to the women I know.
Thank you 🙏 I don't know of similar resources for men. Depending on how this group goes, I may run future groups that are coed, or coed with gender specific breakout groups.
Dear Nicole, thanks for sharing your experience! This group is going to be very helpful for a lot of people. Thank you for bringing it out into the light.
I'm not divorced, but the man I am married to had been divorced for a few years when we met. My Catholic brother told me, "my church wouldn't recognize your marriage." I was so glad I could look him in the eye and say, "well, mine does."
I know people who've had to go to great lengths upon converting to Catholicism to have previous marriages annulled (marriages that ended prior to their even becoming Catholic) so that their current marriage is not considered adulterous. My understanding is this comes from a place of wanting to protect the sacrament/sanctity of marriage. Part of me understands this, but the other part of me wonders if there is a point at which we place the needs of impersonal sacraments above ministering to and loving actual human persons as the church. Just a question that comes up for me when I ponder this.
I feel like people need to always come first - the Sabbath was made for man, and not man for the Sabbath, right? I don't have a lot of Catholic folks in my life, and I didn't mean that to sound flippant - I've actually had people who are much more learned in Catholic theology than my brother (who converted less than a decade ago) tell me that my marriage is fine, lol... I've just always found incredible comfort in Orthodoxy's ability to maintain a high calling to obedience on one hand, and a deep grace and compassion for our limits on the other. Ergo... my marriage being blessed and celebrated in my church.
Great piece. More than a few friends from seminary lost their marriages. Not all were clergy wives (or clergy), but it meant I needed to show up. When my husband remarried one friend, she had some hard questions about the differences in the services. Those softened and expanded how to minister to those rebuilding wholeness after divorce. Married people like us need to learn how to walk better alongside our divorced friends.
This is a much needed resource. Thank you for doing the work. Do you know of any similar supports for men? Our parish is not very large and also does not have many divorced men or women in it, but there are a few and I'll send this on to the women I know.
Thank you 🙏 I don't know of similar resources for men. Depending on how this group goes, I may run future groups that are coed, or coed with gender specific breakout groups.
Dear Nicole, thanks for sharing your experience! This group is going to be very helpful for a lot of people. Thank you for bringing it out into the light.
Thank you for your kind words